Rememberance

My years at Batesville High School have been some very interesting ones. From the good times to the bad. From losing old friends to gaining knew ones. It has been a very difficult set of years for me. When I entered Ninth grade shattered and scared. My step sister had disowned us and we had know clue were she was, my Oldest brother was in prison, my oldest sister had just had a miscarriage, I had been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and PMDD, added on top of all that my mom had just had aortic bi pass surgery, and i was starting my first year of high school marching band. I was a terrible marcher i will admit but even though i was so bad four seniors took pity on my friend Joni and I took us under there wings and taught us how to march. And so the Jcrew was born Me(jenny), Joni, Jon, JD, JJ and Joel. That was the second time JJ had entered my life. And the crush I had had on him was still just as strong as the first time so i got brave and asked him out sadly he denied me. So i attempted to make him jealous by dating our mutual friend Joel but that backfired. I spent the rest of the year confused on weather i was dating Joel or not. That year the band went to Chicago, and while there the Jcrew became even closer it was also there that i found out about Kristen Tuker one of my best friends , she had a tumor in her stomach and later found out she had overian cancer. Graduation that year was bittersweet. The doctors had successfully removed Kristens tumor, and yet all i could think about was the fact that i was losing my best Friends, the three i had come to love as brothers, and the one whom although he had denied me i couldn't help but fall completely in love with. Sophomore year was a blur of trying to find something to fill the empty void in my heart left after the Jcrew had left even Joni and Kristen had moved i felt isolated and alone but i still had faith that God had a plan. 11th grade came along with a cocktail of anxiety pills we were trying to find away to keep my disorder in check but at the same time i lost control of myself i was so mellowed out by the pills that i didn't care who i hurt or what happened to me. i was sneaking around behind my mothers back hiding from her, going one place when i said i was going another , and cheating i had a different boyfriend every other week and this just wasn't me. Finally reality hit me when Joel came home to visit one weekend and i told him about all of my "adventures" . He shook me out of it and kept me in line the rest of that year but then he started getting a little crazy on me and distant when i left that summer for Europe i told myself this is my trip for me and me alone i wasn't going to hook up with anybody but fate had something else in store. A week into the trip i met Craig and we got together and everything seemed to vanish for both of us. he broke his addiction to caffeine and my anxiety went away that was until i came home. It was now my senior year and he lived four hours away and i couldn't stand the distance it was driving me crazy. It hurt me being so far away from him my anxiety was back and with a vengeance. So one night i finally told him what was going on and he said "this is my one chance to take your pain away and I'm going to take it lets just be friends" two weeks later it was homecoming i wasn't going to go to the dance but i was at the game for the band several band alumni had come to watch and among them was the one guy i knew i loved and not just puppy love real love true love. JJ. He talked to me the whole game and at one point and i know its a crappy pickup line but he said "whats your boyfriend gonna say when i take you out to dinner Saturday" and "i said well i cant i have a marching competition but he wouldn't say anything cause i don't have one." by the end of the game we had compromised and he would come to church with me on that Sunday Oct. 18th and after we would hang out and watch movies at his house. And by Christmas break we were engaged and planning our wedding for Aug. 7 2010. And here we are My brother is getting out of prison this week or next, my sister has three kids, my mom is healthy as a horse, I no longer have to take a regular anxiety pill i have a when you need it pill and my PMDD is under control, and as for my stepsister well last summer she spent a month with us and now is back in Maine and is a proud mother of a little boy Jacob he was born in December but now she is back to ignoring us again but that's OK graduation is in a couple of weeks and in a few months i will be married and working towards being a missionary's wife and a missionary my self me and JJ both have surrendered to the call of God. well stay here and until we can afford to go to seminary. Well that's about it High School in a nutshell the bad may have been bad but the good well ....IT WAS GOOD!